Lampoon: Genius Students Learn How to Multi Task and Keep Hands-On Learning Alive During Virtual Learning

by John Udabe

Every single school year, the best and brightest students always stand out and excel. Now students are not just learning inside and outside of the classroom…but they are doing just that at the same time.

Heck – you can even clean a whole Turkey during Zoom Class!

Students are appearing to be even smarter and more creative this year (even though their 56% in a gradebook may suggest otherwise). The fact of the matter is that students are evolving and adapting at an overwhelming pace.

This year has been different from other years for obvious reasons, yet students all across the country are improvising, adapting, and overcoming. Zoom classes have been shown to be tough, as students have to learn at a distance. Yet students are not letting that stop them from learning through hands-on activities, or letting that stop them from taking care of daily activities.

If you think sitting every single day in your room, going through monotonous classes every day is a worthwhile time, you should quite literally take a hike. Shoutout to 5G and mobile hotspots, you can go nearly anywhere, just pull up Zoom on your phone.

Need a quick Costco run? No problem! Might as well pass through Wendy’s while you’re out. It’s simple, just pop up the class on your phone, make sure you have data, and you’re all set. You can hit the town while in class. You can go to the park while in class. You can even pop in some headphones and go to a library for crying out loud (Actually, don’t do that. Still too much of a learning environment).

The geniuses of the world have taken online learning to a new level. These days, some students can be found fishing while on a Zoom class call. No joke, there have been some kids found with a computer in front of them and a fishing rod in their hand, fishing off a boat. It’s genius, they’re not just ‘present’ in class, they’re also getting a lesson in marine biology. 

Others step it up, hunting animals in the forest while on Zoom. Hey, seeing animals in their natural habitat is even better than the zoo. Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before?

Need a lesson in aerodynamics while in physics class? I’m sure you might still get service at skydiving level. Ok fine, that’s pushing it. But the limits are nearly endless.

And then, of course, you have those students who are a little behind on the curve. It’s not their fault, they’re trying their best. But c’mon, eating cereal or pizza in front of the camera does not make you an edgy student anymore. In fact, it’s just embarrassing if that crosses your mind. Taking your computer during class to a restaurant would be an ameteur move at this point too.

And I’m sorry, but nobody cares anymore what your dog or cat looks like. Unless you have a goat, or chicken, or panda, or cow at your house, we don’t care what your pets look like anymore. That stuff was for last semester buddy.

Of course, this is all assuming that you don’t sleep through every class, which is just as legitimate of an option. In fact (future medical students listen up), the medical experts of the world recommend 8-10 hours of sleep minimum, and if you aren’t willing to do what the experts say – even if it means knocking out during class time – then you will never ever become an expert yourself.

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