Lampoon: Inadequate Supervillain Mr. McGueber To Offer A $120,000 Scholarship To Bosco Senior
by Augustus Rodriguez, Lampoon Editor
With the second semester coming to an end, Mr. McGueber is trying to entice St. John Bosco seniors to join his evil endeavors.

A lot of seniors are in need of a scholarship to help pay off college tuition, and because of that, Mr. McGueber has now returned from his unexpected – but much needed – hiatus to showcase his newest evil plan.
Mr.McGueber is offering one lucky senior $120,000 scholarship to help them with college expenses. The said scholarship will be called “The McGuebership.”
“I am not really concerned with helping some kid’s dream of going to college. I just need another partner in my evil schemes,” Mr. McGueber said. “Squaddle is a good asset but having only two people in this can be hard”.
Loads of seniors are questioning why he is searching for another sidekick using this method.
“[Mr. McGueber] could have just made a LinkedIn page advertising this spot,” said senior Andrew Rios. “Then again, he is not going to pay them and use their labor for his own game”.
Mr. McGueber has expressed his frustrations with the recent complaints about his scholarship.
“Why can’t I use unpaid labor without people telling me it’s illegal?” said Mr. McGueber. “I know it’s illegal; just let me be.”
Mr. McGueber was seen with other bad guys before making this scholarship, and it is rumored that said meetings did not go very well.
One of the guys Mr. McGueber was seen with, Philly Buster, is notorious for not being able to stop talking about Philadelphia. He was also seen with an infamous evil trio of clowns named “Los Globos”.
“Look, those people I was seen with are not suitable to be my second sidekick,” said Mr. McGueber. “I know they will backstab me for a cheeseburger. That’s why I trust Squaddle so much and not them”.
Many seniors are wondering how they can apply to pay off most of their tuition fees.
“It’s easy just give me your Social Security number and $10 in cash,” said Mr McGueber. “It’s a wonderful investment, guys. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity”.
As many seniors wonder if Mr McGueber will follow through on his promise of $120,000, a source closely tied to Mr. McGueber’s past reveals vital never before seen information about him.
“This isn’t the first con he will attempt or try; in fact he has been doing this since our college days,” said evil inventor, Cyrus the Virus. “Me, Pants Escobar and Mr. McGueber have been doing this stuff for years and Mr. McGueber has always been the weakest link.”
Despite being a con-artist, some students still have a bit of trust in Mr. McGueber’s new scholarship.
“I kind of signed up as a joke, but looking at the pros, they seem to outweigh the cons,” said senior Emmanuel Garcia. “I have a chance to turn heel and probably get paid. I couldn’t work it out being good so maybe being evil will help me.”
Students also wonder how Mr. McGueber got that type of money, especially when he blew all of that Netflix money from his fight with Mike Tyson on European Hot Pockets and international phone calls.
Even if you can avoid the cons of unpaid labor and possible jail time for Mr. McGueber’s petty crimes, the scholarship is still not a good idea.
The way Mr. McGueber lays out how to apply is to meet him at his lair between his office hour time slot. The problem is the office hours are unknown to everyone and his lair is still untraceable.
Mr. McGueber still thinks seniors can find his secret lair even after all this time.
“You guys are seniors. You should know this whole school like the back of your hand,” said Mr. McGueber.
Surprisingly many students signed up for the scholarship despite not knowing where his lair is.
“I messaged him to meet up for the offer, and when I asked for directions for his lair, he gave me a cut out maze from a cereal box,” said senior Roman Galindo.
Perhaps this is the ultimate test to see who will earn Mr. McGueber’s cash prize. We’ll see if any Bosco seniors can locate his lair and hold him to his promises.






